You know I've rarely been as heartbroken as I was when Chinese Democracy came out.  I had got three years of posts out for it- a real treasure lode.

Luckily, the release of CD has been good for a lot of bizarre news stories.

First, Communist China didn't find the album's title very funny.

Now, Axl wants to fight with Dr. Pepper.

Yes, the reason the album didn't sell well wasn't because Axl didn't promote it, or because no one buys albums anymore, or because it was sold in primarily only one retail outlet.

None of those reasons.

No, it was that damn Dr Pepper website crashing. 

So you're telling me that someone was going to Best Buy to buy the CD; first going to the Dr Pepper website to get a free beverage.  Upon finding themselves unable to log into the Dr Pepper website, their day was ruined and they could no longer make the trip outside to buy CD. 

Is that logical?

What the hell am I thinking?  This is the guy who delays or cancels concerts for the smallest thing.  Of course, he think that's logical.

So, I get the feeling Axl is pissed is because he had to do a rush job to get the album out before 2008.  If he knew ahead of time Dr. P was going to botch this up, he could have went back to the studio for finishing touches.

Where does Dr Pepper get the gall?  What's wrong with taking 14 years to record an album?

Consider this:

If all albums took 14 years to make, The Rolling Stones would be in the studio recording Between the Buttons.  No Miss You, No Emotional Rescue, and No Jagger solo albums, and I think now the world is ready for a song called "Let's the Spend the Night Together".

The Beatles (presumably Paul McCartney and Scott Weiland) would be finishing up Help! with Rubber Soul on the horizon.

The Who would have their next two albums Tommy and Who's Next ahead of them.

Joe Strummer's swan song would be not the very good Streetcore but the classic London Calling.  I won't even bring up Carbon/Sillicon.

The Chinese government is worried.

Rightfully so, Chinese Democracy has been released, and though the government hasn't made an official statement, the official paper has.

I can't blame them. 

If that album were to be released there, think of the consequences:

-Two people would have a conversation and suddenly a Slash guitar solo appears
- Kids running around in headbands or top hats
-Videos with dolphins

I have to say these are the times I am glad to live in America.

What a sad, scared country China is.

The media there think that if people see guitars and scantily dressed chicks, that it will cause the masses to run wild in the streets.  I can't imagine living in a country like that.

I can confirm that Dr Pepper is offering free Dr Pepper on their website today.

The website seems to be slow or even down now, but have a little patience (ho ho!) and you can get your coupon.

No particular reason is given for the free Dr Pepper, but thereis a timer that counts down the minutes before this offer for carbonated goodness ends.

You have to create a profile and sign up (pretty de rigeur for such things) so they can mail you a coupon.  No instant satisfaction like printing off a coupon right there, but if you waited this long....

Offer void in China.

In three hours, the wait is over..

... and I will have to find something new to blog about.

So, be aware you only have one day to grab that free Dr Pepper coupon.

Me?  I am hoping for last minute delays, but I know it's too late now.  It was a good run.  It appears this is at least my twentieth post in reference to CD since June 2006.

Oh there will be plenty of manic-depressive reclusive white-trash millionaires who will get upset and delay their albums for months at a time, but you never forget your first. I guess there's always that follow-up to Loveless I can blog about.

CD has been such an epic project that it feels silly to simply review it, even sillier if it's actually good.

Guns N Roses is a great polarizer.  People either love or hate Axl.  It's not hip in the circles I run in to like GnR.

At the same time, if you are a fan of hard rock, you can't totally discount the band either.

So, I generally put myself into the GnR camp.  Yes, it was Izzy Stradlin's name on many of the great songs.  Yes, it probably is unfair to call them GnR without Slash and Duff.  I hear that.

To put myself in an even smaller group of fans, I generally like Axl best when he is channeling Freddie Mercury.  It may not be punk, but Axl is generally at his best when he does the big epic.  It ain't something Johnny Rotten would do, but *&^% it, sometimes you have to make a video with dolphins.

To put myself on the record (so to speak), I have to say there's been quite a few songs in the canon, if not a great album.

Appetite has been overplayed over the years, but the opening ("Welcome to the Jungle") is still pretty powerful, and at least half the album is great.  Use your Illusion has a great album's worth of material with it, though of course a lot of filler.

So now I have admitted to that, where does CD fit?

It is very much the follow-up to UYI1&2 (more Freddie Mercury than John Lydon), and it's actually pretty good.  There's nothing here quite as good as "Don't Cry" or "Estranged", but there are a few songs that go for the epic moment and hit the mark- "There was a time (TWAT- get it?  Ho ho!)" and "Madagascar".

Those two songs justify CD, but it is a fairly strong set of songs.  It's Axl, so if you didn't like the voice to begin with, you won't like it.

Music reviewers will complain that the album could have used Stradlin's touch (and it could), but Axl's collaborators have done their best.  There's plenty of guyitar heroics here too, for those who still wish Axl would return Slash's Christmas cards.

Axl may picture himself as JD Salinger (would it be too obvious to name a song "Catcher in the Rye"  Ah.. what the hell..) and wants to be the holed-up tortured artist, but it has worked for him.

I am caught with the feeling that some of the guitar effects sound stuck in the 1990s.  I think releasing it now actually works though.

As been commented often, Axl could oprobably have only kept relevant by doing something as drastic as disappearing for years at a time (death being the other option).  There are only a few select bands that were in that genre that survived (Aerosmith who would have survived anyway, and Bon Jovi who managed to find a loyal audience follow their pop sound).

I don't think this album would be as triumphant had it come out ten years ago.  "Oh My God" was released in 1999, and in that environment, GnR sounded like they were trying to catch up with the bands of the time.   Now, that the wave of nu-metal has come and went, one imagines Axl listened to Korn and Marilyn Manson, but his music doesn't suffer in comparison to it.

Anyway, I have to admit I like it.  I don't expect too many people here will, but that's okay.  You can stream it (for now anyway) in its entirety here.  At the very least, I am better looking and more clever than Chuck Klosterman, so thanks for reading.

 For those of you who are new around here, you've probably figured out that I post a lot.

I post alot about wrestling, books, movies, comics, politics, music, and various random things.

I am never at a loss for a blog topic, though if I do come up short, there's always prompts like NaBloPoMo.

However, if even that fails to inspire, I have two go-to topics.

1.  Pete Doherty

Yes, I know what you're thinking.  I was thinking the same the last couple of months- maybe I should have backed my wagon behind Amy Winehouse.

Still, patience paid off, and it's a good month for loony Doherty news, starting with Pete cancelling a gig to be with his cat who was giving birth.

He tops that this week, by making a ring out of his dead cat's skull, as a gift to win back Kate Moss (and it will work, I'm sure).

2. Chinese Democracy

Big news this week on CD as a GnR track is slated to be introduced in a new video game.

This was awesome news, as we got a chance to make "Yeah.  It's Duke Nukem Forever" jokes all week.

No, the story being reported is that "Shackler's Revenge" will appear in Rock Band 2.  (Yes, as 

puffdoggydaddy

You know, when a band goes into the studio, it's not a bad idea to take a camera in there.

Some Kind Of Monster was compelling television, even if the accompanying album wasn't.  Cocksucker Blues is legendary, and the rumor is that it may be finally see an offical release soon.

We love to watch our favorite bands in rehersal making their masterpiece. 

So it follows, that someone would see the goldmine that is a reality show that follows Chinese Democracy and its impending release.

Not only is it the perfect Reality Show, but you're guaranteed to get a good three or four seasons out of it.  Hey-oh!!!

For the last couple of years I have depended on Pete Doherty to give me something to blog about.

Oh sure, anybody can snort a bunch of cocaine or make a public drunken spectacle of themselves, but Pete takes it to the next level.

Y'know, like giving his cat some crack.

Think you can get that excitement from just any indie rocker boy, Kate?

This week also saw the elusive Pete Doherty/Amy Winehouse 2-for-1 article.

and in other news, Lily, call me....

- - -

Extra bonus track of that other favorite of mine, Axl Rose, who is putting the finishing touches on the forthcoming GnR album Chinese Democracy.

This is pretty good (adult language).

For most of you, there is probably only one paycheck left (if that) before my birthday on Sunday.  I hope everyone has figured that into their financial plan.

Not sure what to get me?  Well, the Elliott Smith/Tupac Shakur Duets album isn't due until August, so here's a couple of other ideas.

How about some artwork?

I have a theory on Pete's artwork.  Remember last Spring when Pete shot up a woman with blood in a syringe?  His excuse then was it was just all for his "blood paintings".  Whether it was true or not, Pete is stuck with that excuse, and he still refuses to give it up.

How about some music?

How about Axl Rose and a group of guys who aren't Slash and Duff.  Some unreleased, unheard recordings?  Songs that have yet to be released but strongly anticipated?  Songs that have been held up for years? A release in which a lawyer says ""My attorney has been working with Axl's attorney for some time now trying to come out with a way to release (this album) which is acceptible to Axl" and "Regardles (...) of what he wants, the law states that I can release these at any time and have the full legal right to do so.

I am of course talking about Chinese Democracy, then?

Nope!  Guess again.

It is a good time to be a Guns N Roses fan.

First, the band is getting back together.  I'm not just talking the Richard Fortus/Tommy Stinson line-up, but the original Appetite line-up.  If you can't trust the MySpace page of an ex-junky drummer, whose biggest highlight in the past ten years is opening for the BulletBoys, well what can you trust?

More importantly, March 6 is just around the corner.  March 6, of course, being the day we circled our calendar, and have looked forward to for the last few months.  March 6, the day, the long-awaited Chinese Democracy is released.

Less than two weeks away, and then the most anticipated... wait, what?

In a shocking turn of events, Axl says Chinese Democracy is coming out soon, and he needs to cancel his remaining dates so he can finish the recording process.