It's Sunday and sports radio will be all abuzz about Brett Favre's return to Lambeau Field.  I know friends who are Packers/Favre fans (virtual and not) have made their minds siding either with or against The Gunslinger.

Then again, maybe they won't mention it instead giving us a breakdown of Adrian Peterson vs Ryan Grant.  Right?  Hey, it could happen.

Then again, Jerry Jones could be modest, Terrell Owens could be quiet, and the Rams could win a game.

No, Fox will liekly have their camera on Favre the whole time.

Seriously, we know there is history there, do we need to be reminded.  What';s next?  Are they going to just have non-stop Favre-View all game - including the time he is on the bench and during commercials?

Well...... they are.

I got to mark off another thing off the Sports Bucket List yesterday- I went to a Big 10 football game- Indiana University at the University of Iowa.

I have mentioned that I am partial to our state school which has all the populism that comes with  a team that went 9-27 in the last three years.  Iowa City's tailgate differs in that it is more spreadout (and I am less likely to run into people I know) than Ames.  Still, with beer, grilling, and beanbag games, tailgating is tailgating, anywhere you go.  Also, because of this, the port-a-potties (locals call them kybos) are way cleaner and have less lines.

Oh, and there's Meat on A Stick.

It was Halloween, so Cookie Monster, the Blue Man Group, the Teletubbies (two sets), and Pinhead from Hellraiser were all in attendance.  Most amusingly, Jesus was there, and he was not amused with bad play from the Hawkeyes.

Indiana hasn't been good for about a decade.  Iowa on the other hand is off to their best start in school history, have a real look at their first undefeated season, and are currently rankled fourth in the nation.  Their modus operandi this year, however seems to be "trail all game, and make a dramatic finish at the end" (not an idea I'd recommend).  The defense is pretty amazing and are a "bend don't break" team that keeps the Hawks in every game.  Quarterback Ricky Stanzi is the ultimate second half qb- a Tony Romo character that at times looks like he should be benched, then at the last minute, makes an unbelievable game-winning play.

Here, college football is king.  The Cubs rule the summer,  Sundays are ruled by the Vikes, Packers, and Chiefs, but everyone comes together for Saturdays in Fall.  With this not-so-expected amazing season, Iowa fan is pumped.  We were lucky enough to get four rows away from the goal line.  I suspect we are in this picture, but everyone in black and gold look the same.

Kinnick Stadium is mostly enclosed and we got loud.  Iowa won 42-24, however, for much of the game, things went bleak.

In fact, Iowa lost the turnover battle 6-3, but still went ahead to beat the spread.  In fact, it looked like Indiana was going to put the nail in the coffin in the third quarter leading 21-7 and the ball on their two yard line.  Nearby fans were talking about leaving.  Then, Iowa recovered the ball on a crazy play and ran it 98 yards the other way.

From there, the momentum shifted, and Iowa won prety handily when it was said and done.

This one was a wild one, and will probably be in fans' minds for awhile.  A fun Saturday.  Albeit a cold one, 43 degrees was the gametime weather.  Even the cheerleaders had their thermal underwear on.

It's almost November and I haven't posted about the most important thing ever- the status of my fantasy football teams.  I remedy that here.

Since Jim Cramer tells me to diversify my finanical interests, I have three teams this year.  We ain't doing too well this year, but I have an obsessive love of football, statistics, and nothing better to do.  Fear me.

The Young and Wasted 3-2 - Y&W look strong with a good team in this point-per-reception league and hope to defend their title.  One guy went homer and picked the local hero rookie (3rd stringer) in the 4th round, even before the 1st stringer (Thomas Jones) was drafted.  "Homer fail" as the kids might say.  Sadly, local Conservative commentator did not come back, so my record will likely always remain 1-0 against people who have been mentioned (mispronounced) on The Rachel Maddow Show.

The Saluki Dawgs 2-3  -Last year, the Dawgs went 3-11.  I had a strong draft this year, and think we're strong than the record.  The team is led by Kurt Warner at QB.  Remember, when I used to complain the Rams were starting Warner over Bulger.  Who'd have thunk it?  In this keeper league, someone took Randy Moss with the first draft pick, and LaDanian went second.  Fail.

The All American Americans  1-4  This team is terrible, losing their first four games.  Still, every time Larry Fitzgerald gets a reception, my name goes into a (virtual) hat for a drawing for a Fitz autographed ball.  At least I have something to look forward to.

So Saturday, I went to the big event in Iowa- the Iowa-Iowa State game.

While not Auburn v Alabama or Michigan v Ohio State, I have to say the Cyclone-Hawkeve rivalry at least makes the bottom of the list of  Top 20 or 25 football rivalries in the nation

It is arguably the biggest event in the State.  Bigger than RAGBRAI, bigger than the vaunted State Fair, and I would say bigger than the caucuses; because while you might debate if you are a Republican or a Democrat; or a Hillary or an Obama; there is no bigger question than if you are a Clone or a Hawk.

U of I has the history - a team that regularly sees Bowl games and appearances in the nation's Top 25.  Iowa State, the populist favorite, who have had rougher time than usual, and find themselves near the bottom of the Big 12.

Still, even I know people at Iowa City, I have become a ISU fan over the years.  They are a friendly bunch, and I suspect there's not too many places in the country that rivals their tailgate parties.

They are also a loud bunch.  Much like the folks in Arrowhead Stadium, they are the screaming, yelling, red and yellow twelfth man that might sway a game or two.

So, it started on Saturday morning with 52,000 in attendance (and I seriously suspect about that many who tailgated who didn't actually go inside Jack Trice Stadium).

It was a terrible game, though, and for all intents and purposes was over at half time (if not sooner).  I don't know that the Hawkeyes looked good, but the Cyclones look awful.

Of course, I'm a sucker in hopes that I am seeing future NFL stars and likely did (I would suspect some of these players will make it to pro ball).  However, I don't know there are any certain things.  Iowa QB Ricky Stanzi is highly touted as a probable Pro, but I am not really convinced.  Cyclone Austin Arnaud looked like a Michael Vick with even worse passing skills (Four interceptions).  Second stringer Jerome Tiller looks like Daunte Culpepper in the huddle, and is a promising freshman.

Still, the game is secondary to the party.  This is the third year I've made the trip to Ames, and tailgating strikes me as being something for us old fogies.

I didn't tailgate in college.  For starters, our football team was terrible.  secondly, a college student is a living, breathing party.  They don't need an excuse to party, and they certainly aren't awake by 11 on a Saturday.

No, tailgates are for the alumnus (and adopted alumnus).  These are the people who plan the day, and come prepared for anything.  They own vehicles, fancy stereo systems, grills, lawn games, and fully stocked liquor cabinets- none of the stuff I could afford until I was at least a few years out of college.  Plus, they get up at 4:30 in the morning to set up their camp and take the first drink at 6am.

Anyway, I usually complain about large gatherings, but it is always a fun atmosphere, and this being the biggest sports event in the state (short on trash talk year.  Did I mention the Cyclones are terrible?), it was a blast to mark this off the Big List of things to do in Iowa before you die (or move)

Fantasy Football season is upcoming. 

There's still no cure for not starting Ronnie Brown the week he scores four TD's, or for drafting Chad Ochocinco in the third round; but there is now a cure for the guy who drafted Tom Brady fourth overall (only to see his knee snap in the first game of the year).

Yes, there is hope for that guy.

At long last, it's Fantasy Football Insurance.

My social calendar generally stays pretty empty, but it was a busy weekend.

Friday, an old friend and Favre fan hit me up for dinner and catching the Vikings debut.  So we spent Friday at Buffalo Wild Wings.  We are in the heart of Vikings/Chiefs/Packers country and it was indeed probably the most anticipated preseason game ever. I think your average West Des Moiner was out to get their Friday Night shopping on.

Favre had one completion for four yards.  Tavaris Jackson had a big pass to Chester Taylor and a touchdown.  Clearly, Tavaris should start week one.  *snork*

Saturday was spent watching your Iowa Cubs.  i usually make two or three games a year, but this is the first time I have been in 2009.  Beautiful night for baseball (under 80 degrees) and Principal Park is a great place to watch a game (high concession prices excepted).  I always think it's cool to watch the prospects as they hit the Major Leagues.  This year, most of the names I knew were gone (Catcher Chris Robinson and Outfielder John-Ford Griffin seem to be most likely to succeed).

The Cubs lost 3-0 to the New Orleans Zephyrs (now, the Florida Marlins triple-A team).  I figured any good prospects in that farm system would be in Miami.  Not so.  Pitching prospect Rick VandenKurk (who played on the Dutch WBC team) pitched five innings of one hit ball.  Highly rated prospect Cameron Maybin hit lead-off for the Zephyrs.

I had heard that the QuikTrip racers were down to two, but sure enough all three (Hot Dog, Taquito, and the politically incorrect Egg Roll were all there).  I love the Quik Trip racers, and mark out completely for them (My dream vacation is a trip to DC to watch the Presidents race).

Tonight, will be Summer Slam.  Two friends and I make predictions about all of the Pay per Views.  I do pretty good at predicting WWE events, byt generally terrible at TNA events.  Not that I worry, it's a bit comforting to know I don't think like Vince Russo.

The top story in sports is about the 07-08 Memphis college basketball team. 

In the briefest of summaries, the issue is that the team's superstar Derrick Rose was admitted entrance based on a SAT score from a test that Derrick Rose didn't take.

The ramifications are that Memphis has all of their wins from that season taken away, as well as their Runner-Up position in the NCAA championship.

It's a pretty hollow punishment.  Coach Calipari gets away unscathed with his current job over at Kentucky (This is the second time this has happened to him.  Sure, there's not evidence he was in on it, but this is the second time in 20 years, teams he coached had major infractions).

Also, it's hard to erase the memory of a 7-point Overtime loss to Kansas that was seen across the nations by millions, or certainly the amount of money Memphis made off of it; or the large amount of money Calipari made by going over to Kentucky.

So while it's impossible for sports fan to forget. Scratch!  It's off the record, and historians won't count it.

I bring this up because the top news story is Tom Ridge's new revelation.

Now I can't be the only person to think this, but if you're not headed the same direction as me, I will catch you up.

Gov. Ridge, while Homeland Security Secretary was pressured by the Bush administration (he says) to raise the terror alert when re-election hopes were on the rocks.

Though he didn't say it at the time, it bears reminding that the Alert was raised on news of an attack on five major financial institutions immediately after the Democratic convention.  Kerry had a convention bounce and was ahead of Bush. 

Still, the terror threats eroded that lead quickly, and with the GOP getting something like 80% of the public support on fighting terrorism, the ball was in their court that fall.

It is not too much of a stretch that to say without the Terror Alerts (much like Memphis without Rose), Bush doesn't win.

Now, we can't do anything about this.  We all remember the last four years.  Bush has retired with nary a peep.  We can't replay those primaries.

I am just suggesting maybe for the historians' sake, we expunge that 2004 victory.

I'm just going to post this here and walk away.

Sports are there for diversion, happy stories to make up for the depressing real world.  This week, even the sports page is depressing.

Arguably the story getting the most attention is the Erin Andrews one.  As a man, you'd think a headline like "Erin Andrews nude" would be, oh say, the greatest story ever.  Instead, it turns out being the creepiest story of the year.  I haven't seen the video (honest), but a woman being caught by a unsuspecting camera is just uncomfortable.

Also, near the top of the headlines is that Ben Roethlisberger is accused of sexual assault.  Ben seems like the last person you would expect to do this, but there is the story.

Any good news?  Well, Michael Vick is back.  Oh that's right.  One of the most popular athletes of the last 25 years just got out of prison after a conviction for dog fighting.

So, my response to all these terrible headlines is to give you a few of my favorite recent news stories:

First, journeyman pitcher Julian Tavarez got released from the last place Nationals.  Tavarez is near the end of the career and the lowly Nats were his only option.  Tavarez being removed from the roster was a good time to revisit what might be the sports quote of the year:  "Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me, this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

My second favorite sports story involves all-time Stolen Base leader and egomaniac Rickey Henderson.  Henderson is at age 50 and is now headed to the Hall of Fame.  He spent most of last decade trying to make it with a handful of major league teams, and in 2004 and 2005 was still trying to make it through the minor and independent leagues.

Ricky is probably best known for the speech he gave when he broke the Steals record.  With previous record holder Lou Brock in attendance, Ricky broke out with "Lou Brock was the symbol of great base stealing. But today, I'm the greatest of all time."

He has had a career of similiar moments, and I have to say Ricky's upcoming Hall of speech may be the greatest ever.  It should be a nice combination of "I am the greatest player ever" narcissism and the "I ain't ready to retire yet.  I'll play tomorrow if someone signs him" wild card.

Anyway, a friend sent me this article, and I loved this line:  In May 2007, Oakland general manager Billy Beane considered signing Henderson to a one-day contract so that he could retire as a member of the Athletics' organization. But the A's reportedly had concerns that Henderson might insist on staying with the club for the rest of the season, and the arrangement never materialized.

Even before manny Ramirez was Manny being Manny, Ricky was being Ricky.

Like many men (and some women) I spent Saturday as a "Guys night out" watching UFC100.

It is a credit to the promotional genius of Dana White that the day before the baseball all-star game, the UFC grabbed a big chunk of the sports headlines.  The All-star game, home run derby, the release of college football betting lines, NASCAR, baseball free agent talks, NBA trades, and two bizarre sports murders, and everyone is talking UFC.

Credit to White for bringing in ex-WWE superstar (and a beast of a man) Brock Lesnar.  Though relatively new to the sport, Lesnar was an amateur wrestler and has already started to plow through the competition.

Lesnar is the best thing that could happen to a sport that was doing well anyway.  He is a love-him-or-hate-him character who learned how to be a heel in the WWE.  His post-fight interview was maybe the greatest heel speech not given in a wrestling ring.  It was right out of the Stone Cold Steve Austin/ Stan Hansen playbook.  Mind, most post-fight interviews in the UFC are respectful and civil.

White was making the media rounds today acting pissed, but I don't believe a word of it.  He secretly has to love that people can't quit talking about Lesnar and Saturday night.

White is a genius.  I don't know that UFC will ever pass the Big 4 sports, but White really took a dying idea and made it a mainstream, profitable business.

I remember the early years of UFC starting in 1993.  I was in high school, and I can remember going to the video store and renting the VHS tapes.  This was before YouTube, justin.tv, and even pay per view cable wasn't really part of life.

UFC had a reputation as just being "human cockfighting", and I remember the tapes having this certain aura to them, sitting on the shelf near the Faces of Death videos, its image as being the most extreme action caught to tape.  (I never was interested in FoD, but there was something voyeuristic about UFC).  With UFC, you could see if a boxer could take on a karate expert, a wrestler could beat a kickboxer,  a sumo vs a streetfighter etc.

White, when he took over took all that was wrong with UFC (now, there are weight classes like boxing, there is a definitive style that has emerged, and the matches are generally called the very second there looks like a participant is in danger.)  UFC is still probably not for everyone, but White has made it a very marketable, watchable product.

I started watching UFC again in the fall of 2004 at UFC50.  It was very easy to get into, and I haven't missed too many of the events since then.  White did an excellent job with his programming.  Matches started with interviews and profiles, so you got to know the competitors.  There were some stars who had a certain charisma- Tito Ortiz, Chuck Lidell, George St-Pierre, BJ Penn, Matt Hughes- and quickly, I learned a lot and really got to appreciate the sport.

I did have friends who were dedicated fans, but it was pretty quick to get to know everyone, and the action was always good.  UFC also does what boxing doesn't do anymore.  They put together cards that show five or six good fights, and occasionally will offer the same on free tv through their association with Spike TV.

I think the UFC has a long future, and it's something I really enjoy watching.

Via Tosh.0

Terrell Owens get all of his apologies out now before the season starts.

I can't believe this isn't the biggest story of the week, but I guess that's why I have a blog, right?

For starters, let me back up a bit.

It's been argued that Game 7 of the Stanley Cup is as good as sports get.  I had caught a couple of playoffs game, but didn't really plan on watching the Stanley Cup.  Fortunately through our communication society, a friend tipped me to make sure I caught at least the last period of game 7 on Friday night.

It was as good as advertised- as exciting as sports gets.  Hi-Def TV has really helped out hockey's tv appeal, too.  Now, if only most NHL games weren't aired on a channel sandwiched between the Hallmark Channel and Speed Network.

I should also take this time to point out that I would hope no one here would turn to Cash4Gold for cash, but on the off chance, you've been convinced by the persuasive techniques of MC Hammer and are thinking about it- go here.

Still, the best story I have heard all week is about the most prized trophy in all of sports.  

Yep,  Cash4Gold is throwing out an offer to melt down the Stanley Cup.

Uh oh. Nobody tell Gary Bettman.

Because at times, this blog is more for me than you- it's a rundown of Al Bedsitter's 2008-2009 bowling season.

I was never athletic, but now I can pass as a sportsman, because I have stats.  Oh, and I'm not the worst guy in the league- so there is that.

I improved my average to 123.  Five points up from last year.  I got a USBC award for a 180 game (181 points) and had a high series of 446.

Our team did well.  Fourth place out of twelve.

My average for the first game was 122.8.  My average for the second game was 122.9.  My average for the third game was 125.9.

I'm not sure if anyone beleives it or not, but for the third year in a row, I can say, I have the reflexes of Dr Johnny Fever.

Next Monday night, WWE Raw will be live in Denver. It should also be noted that the Denver Nuggets won over the weekend, and as part of the Western Confrence finals, will be hosting a home game against the LA Lakers that same evening.

Oh, and they're both supposed to be held at the Pepsi Center.

Uh oh.

The Nuggets owner owns the arena, which puts him in a really bad spot. For starters, he publicly looks like the owner who didn't think his team would ever be in the Conference finals. Even the worst team owners don't want to make this faux pas. So, now he has contracts with the NBA, ESPN and ticketholder expectations that the game will take place. However, Raw (a live show) has been promised the location.

He's going to be sued by one of the parties, and he will lose.

It's hard to imagine that this doesn't happen much more often with concerts and other live events conflicting with playoffs caused by unexpected upsets. One would hate as a businessman to pass on a lucrative event like Raw for a playoff that may not happen.

The reason this doesn't come up is that there gerally is a contigency plan for such things and owner Kroenke screwed up. Likely, the WWE will play in Colorado Springs that night, and you will never see them in a Kroenke owned venue ever again.

Still, that means we get Vince on ESPN, and you can't help think that he is "Mr. McMahon" (his on-screen heel persona) 24/7. It makes for good tv, though.



- - -

If you haven't heard about this, Pittsburgh Steelers lineman James Harrison isn't going to the White House.

Sure, the Steelers (as the team that won the Super Bowl) get an invite to meet Barack at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but Harrison ain't going.

Grand political statement?

No, Harrison thinks the only reason he is being invited to the White House is because they won the Super Bowl.  Obama would have invited the Arizona Cardinals if they had won.

I will let you think about that for a moment.

Harrison thinks the Steelers only got invited because they won the Super Bowl, and if the Steelers hadn't won the Super Bowl, the team that would have won would have gone. 

Uh....yes.

My brain asplode!

I was born in 1974, so I missed out on a lot of those mid-70s things, but they were still on the societal radar when I was a child (for instance, the Bay City Rollers). Of course, once I hit the age of 8, I was very culturally aware, and was already one of the key commentators and most important voices in the nation.

So I missed out on Mark Fidrych (who passed away yesterday), but his legend still loomed large when I was a kid.

The short story was Mark was a very eccentic athlete who would talk to the baseball, get down on all fours and pat the mound, and appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated with Big Bird. He also for two years was about as good as pitcher as anyone. He made "Wild Thing" Ricky Vaughn from major league look tame.

Then he just disappeared with shoulder problems (My memory may be bad, but wikipedia seems to back me up). It was later diagnosed as a torn rotator cuff, but it was as if a star burned brightly and was suddenly gone.

More than anything, it's a reminder that the age of those great eccentric athletes is over- Fidrych, Jay Johnstone, Bill Lee, Tug McGraw, and Al Hrabosky to name a few.

It seems like we have seen the last of that time. We have "characters", but they're not loveable goofballs, they are selfish individuals who put themselves before the team and before the fans. PacMan Jones, Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, Allen Iverson, Jose Canseco.

Turk Wendell may be the last great sports eccentric, but he was mostly a marginal player. I suppose you can say Dennis Rodman, if you give him the benefit of the doubt.

If you hadn't heard of Fidrych until yesterday, I would urge you to read his wikipedia entry as a start, and watch the following (at the very least, you owe it to yourself to watch starting at the 2:20 mark for classic Bird footage)

Apparently, there is a thing called the internet, and there's a website where you can post your thoughts and happenings in posts that are under 140 letters or less.

How do I know?

Because every tv news show has reported on it in this last month.

Who am I to rip on people who decide to put their thoughts on the internet? 

Still if I never hear the word "tweet" again, it won't be too soon.

The 140-character limit pisses me off, and 99% of people aren't interesting to post their thoughts every 4 minutes.  Still, the creators of twitter hit on something.

So, expect more "Honey, plane iz going down.  I slept with yer sis. LOL kthxbye" stories for many years (well, many months) to come.

Or

"Arlen Specter just sneezed.  Didn't cover his mouth.  ROTFL" stories

Or

"Hai, it's halftime.  Need 2 score more baskets" stories.


When the news hasn't about the novelty of twitter, it seems to be focused on the NCAA tournament, and specifically on Obama's picks.

Barry Hussein put $10 in a pool.  He's a gambler.  Where's the outrage?  Glenn Beck- step your game up!

Obvious, Barack is a basketball fan, but it's not like he's Bill Bradley.  Do people make a big deal and ask Barney Frank who he thinks will win the Indy 500?  Did people stop everything and wait for John Boehner's Super Bowl picks?

I suppose it goes to show that everyone, even the President gets in brackets (I am in two- and oddly picked the same Final 4 and winner as Barry, even before seeing his picks) and we finally have a President for the current generation.

I guess the biggest perk about being President is he doesn't have to worry about the "Boss Button".  For those who don't know, the Boss Button is a button you can press that quickly hides what you were looking at (streaming video of a basketball game, for example) and makes it look like you are looking at a spreadsheet to passers-by.  So, if it suddenly seems like everyone around you at work has taken a sudden interest in Excel this week, now you know why.

Last year, the button got hit two and a half million times, so the inevitable has happened.  The Boss Button got a sponsor.

If you haven't put two and two together, that means "Slacking off at work" Fail - yes, you're looking at a spreadsheet, but it's a multi-colored spreadsheet of basketball facts. 

Over at CBS sports, the Boss button gives you the slightly less conspicuous "Snacks consumed" spreadsheet.

Ah, technology

Some rambling but it all ties in together, I swear:

I watched UFC96 at the local Buffalo Wild Wings.

I should be all indie and hate on the chain restaurants, but I can't seem to hate on BWW.  They opened one here about six months ago, and in a growing town with little to offer in the form of nightlife, it is welcome.  I have also had good times at the one in Iowa City the half-dozen times I have been there, so I have a good impression of the place.

I have been watching UFC in earnest for 4 years.  I can give you pretty good conversation on the sport (I won't, no need to bore you).  The UFC has really picked up in that time, and Dana White has done everything right.  No wonder it's so popular.

I don't miss too many of the PPV's, and generally watch them with a small group of friends.  I suppose if I was at home alone I could watch them at JustinTV (allegedly.  apparently). 

A few places around here will show them for free.  UFC is an exciting sport that lends itself well to the group setting of a sports bar.

Most notably, the local theater/bar used to show the fights.  That place: the excellently named Billy Joe's Pitcher Show.

I remember my friend always talking up Champaign's Brew-and-View and I always loved the concept.

I only made it to Billy Joe's once to watch the UFC fights (I had been to the karaoke bar that was attached, but that's another story.  It was a great communal setting for the event, but it was lacking as it was poorly ventilated and cigarette smoke hung over the place like a cloud.

Attributing to the economy or possibly the state smoking ban, Billy Joe's looks to be going away soon.  Sad.  Every town needs one.

Last night was a lot of fun though.  Jackson v. Jardine was a bit one sided, there was a lack of name stars on the card; but overall, it ended up being a good program.

Ah, Super Bowl.  Always memorable.  I've watched in black and white in a restuarant backroom.  Last year, I watched it from a bowling alley.  This year, I was at a sports bar sitting near a stripper (she left before kickoff) and a retired VP of a major financial instituion.

I was one of the few cheering on the steelers, and it could have gotten ugly at times, but it didn't.

I was drinking Bloody Marys which was a good idea until I sweated Worcester Sauce from my pores at work today.

Here is my Super Bowl experience:

Bloody Mary #1: Euphoria: Subjects may experience an overall improvement in mood and possible euphoria, Their attention span shortens. They may look flushed.  They have trouble with fine movements, such as writing or signing their name. :  Kurt Warner and Edgerrin James are starting for a Super Bowl team?  Is this 1998?  Who's playing for the other team?  Rich Gannon and Eddie George?

Bloody Mary #2: Lethargy:  They have trouble understanding or remembering things, even recent events. They do not react to situations as quickly Their body movements are uncoordinated; they begin to lose their balance easily, stumbling; walking is not stable.  Their vision becomes blurry. They may have trouble sensing things (hearing, tasting, feeling, etc.). :  The President is giving an interview before the game and.. he is Black?

Bloody Mary #3: Confusion:  Profound confusion—uncertain where they are or what they are doing. Dizziness and staggering occur.  Heightened emotional state—aggressive, withdrawn, or overly affectionate. Vision, speech, and awareness are impaired. :  Brenda Warner is attractive?  She doesn't look like Howie Long  anymore?

Bloody Mary #4:  Stupor:  Movement severely impaired; lapses in and out of consciousness.   Loss of bodily functions can begin, including bladder control, breathing, heart rate.   That's.. that's Bill Bidwell in the owner's box.... AT THE SUPER BOWL!!!

It was slightly after that I fell unconscious, but I am told it was a pretty good game.